When a friend is hurting
Happy Wednesday friends,

Here's a question for you today.
When a friend is hurting because of someone else's sin how do you comfort your friend?

Working in a Christian counseling office I see hurting people every day. As I check them in for their appointment each face bears traces of hurt, stress, anger, fear, grief, guilt or a combination. It's saddens my heart to see those hurting faces. Many experience a number of these things because of someone else's sin. That brings me to today's question.
How do you comfort a friend who is hurting because of someone else's sin?


Blogger joyceoye said...

As much as it hurts when others 'sins' makes one hurt, I think its important to let my friend knows it okay to let it out but dont wallow in it. Dont hand over your life to the 'hurter', dont give him/her that much control over your life. You must learn to let it go AND TRUST GOD. Trust God for healing, forgiveness and forgetfulness. May be hard but ONLY god can take it away.

Blogger heidi said...

First thing is that I listen and I don't judge no matter what my mouth may be wanting to do. I really try to listen for the whole story and I try not to give advice. I want my friends to feel supported.

A good friend of mine is recently going thru a divorce. It came out of no where to all of us-friends. We prayed. AND we did suggest that maybe she give it more time before filing for divorce. (I don't take divorce lightly.) A Christian homeschooling family of 7 and a premature baby that died at birth. He left the house 6 mos later to not return. She suggested counseling alone or together... anything he wanted but that they needed outside help. He refused and since has reconnected with an old girlfriend via FB and it was the kids that found out first. So sad. I know how much she is hurting but she isn't one to want to be consoled right now...just listened to. So I offer her my ear, my shoulder, and a quiet mouth. I pray when she will let me when we are together.

Blogger Chef Diane said...

Hello sweet friend,

I have missed spending time in the blog world. What a day to visit with such a question to stir the mind whispers!

When a friend hurts from some else's sin that can be a tough call. I first pray for wisdom on how to comfort. It isn't my place to fix, judge or fuel the situation. Sometimes my role might simply be to sit with them in silence.

Maybe it is to let that person know they are not alone.

A smile and or a hug go a long way.

A gentle reminder that no matter how much someone has wronged you or your life has been affected by their sin, it is never your place to get revenge. That is reserved for the Lord. This is a tough thing to remember in the heat of emotion, but once it is walked in baby steps, it can be lived by faith the next time.

Love you bunches Zoe

Blogger Julie Coleman said...

I love the story of Joseph. His brothers were unspeakably cruel to him, selling him off as a slave and telling his father he was dead. Eventually Joseph came out on top-- made second in command in the Egyptian empire. His brothers ended up living with him there in Egypt, but never lost their fear and guilt over what they had done. Joseph's response to them: You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive."

Joseph was able to forgive because He trusted God for the bigger picture. God used his brother's sinful actions to work his will. When we trust God to "cause all things to work out for good to those who love God,"(Rom 8:28) we can relax and not be bent on seeing justice served.

After all, just as Joseph's brothers unjustly received benefit from their sin, we do the same. It was our sin that put Christ on the cross. And we alone derived the benefits of His sacrifice: adoption, an inheritance, and redemption.

Blogger Sarah said...

I love all the ladies comments but you know for me I just need to pray if I can't pray with them, I pray for them. Kind words and a kind smile always ease pain as well.

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