(dis)HARMONY .com

We've all seen the commercials for the on-line dating services promising to match you with the perfect person. You watch the couple embrace one another and gaze into each other's eyes smiling as they tell their audience how wonderful their life is now that they are with Mr. or Ms. Right.

Wouldn't it be interesting to see a commercial with that same couple embracing and smiling one year later; only this time I'd love to see a conversation bubble pop up over their head's showing us what they are really thinking.

She says, "I love to talk about my problems as I work through them."

His conversation bubble says, "I like to keep my problems to myself and I can't understand why she wants to talk everything to death."

He says, "I'm an introvert and I need some time alone just to recuperate."

Her conversation bubble says, "Why doesn't he want to spend time with me?"

"I can't understand why he wants to be alone."

And the (dis)harmony begins; all because we communicate so differently.

Men and women are very different creatures indeed.

Although that is a true statement; we can't forget that men and women are made in the image of God

Genesis 1:27, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (NIV)

Being the only female in our household I've learned a few things (a very few things) about the male brain.
Perhaps it would be helpful if all men came with a caution sign printed on their forehead.

CAUTION: APPROACH WITH CARE HA!

I'm no expert; but I have found these things to be helpful.

CAUTION: Use at your own risk

1. The male brain cannot receive or process hints ever.

You must be straight forward and tell them very clearly

what you want.

Don't get your feelings bruised or your panties twisted because he

didn't buy you the outfit you were hoping for

if you only hinted about what you really wanted.

You need to tell him which store is holding the outfit (in his name),what floor it's located on and the name of the salesperson holding it.

I purchase ALL of my own gifts then Tom wraps them and adds a surprise.

It's always exactly what I wanted, the right size and color and I haven't returned any of "his" gifts in 25 years.

2. The male brain responds well if you give them the

bottom line first.

Every detail of your story is not as important to the male brain as it is to the female brain.

Keep it short and sweet, get to the bottom line quickly.

In doing that I've found the male brain is open to hearing the important details.

Remember, women use twice as many words

in a day as men do.

At the end of the day most men have used up a

ll of their words,

while most women still have 1/2 a day of words left.

The male brain is quickly drained by minutia

Okay, I've shared a few, now it's your turn.

How do you keep the (dis) harmony at a minimum in

your relationships?