In and out of "The Clouds"
Hey Bloggy Friends,

Sorry I haven't posted sine last week. Getting back into the rhythm of work and "normal" lives took everything out of me last week and I found myself lapsing in and out of "The Clouds". That's what Tom and I refer to as a "down day". Most of the week was fine and I did mange to keep it together while at work but there were a few days when I cried for no reason at all.
I felt like a dark rain cloud was following me around and raining down huge drops of grief and sadness.

The worse day by far was Saturday, the white bench I had rescued from someones garbage 3/1/2 years ago and literally drug 2 miles to my house fell apart. I was painting that bench in order to plant a garden in the seat the day my dad suffered his stroke. Poor Tom, here he was in the front yard trying to repair this old, dilapidated, rotten, worn out old bench while I stood there with tears streaming down my face. Poor dear, he had no idea what to say or do. He just stood there and let me bury my head in dirty work shirt. I'm sure he was praying, "Oh Lord, tell me what to do to help my beloved bride." or maybe it was more like "Help me Jesus! I have no idea what to do or say!" Poor dear! He's so level headed and always on an even keel and I am a woman of many emotions (sometimes in the same hour).

Anyway... today is a new day the beginning of a new week.
I know the reality of my dad's death and the new body he now enjoys as he dances with our sweet Jesus, but grief is a long and sometimes messy process.
So I thank you in advance for bearing with me as I walk through the grief of 3 huge losses in 7 months (My beloved mother-in-law Catherine in January, our beloved dog Max in April and my daddy June 29).
For those of you who have walked or are walking this road of grief perhaps you have some encouraging words to share. I'm sure we could all use to help us as we are in and out of "The Clouds".
Thanks for sharing!!


5 Comments:

Blogger Nicole said...

Hi Zoe,

I am visiting here for the first time today. I am so sorry to read about the three deaths that have happened in your life recently.

Dear Heavenly Father please be with Zoe right now. Please heal her heart. You love her so much! I pray Lord that you let her feel your presence in an extra special way today. Just love on her like I know you want to. Let her feel your BIG arms of love around her this day. In Jesus Name, Amen!?!

I love the ocean sounds on your blog. It makes me want to stay here all day. Very relaxing and soothing.

I'll be back to visit.

Blessings,
Nicole

Blogger Tammy said...

Dear Zoe,
I am praying for you. There will be days like this. But know God is holding you in His hands and is there to catch your tears and love you so much.

love and blessings
Tammy

Oh Zoe,

I am sorry to hear that you had a rough day. I wish I could say that there won't be anymore tears. My dear Father-in-law passed away almost 6 years ago and I still shed tears when I hear a song he used to sing or see my middle son learning new carpentry skills just like his Pop Pop. Love hurts but I would NEVER trade it for the pain!! I am sure that you feel the same! Let the tears flow and picture the dance you will have with "Daddy" in heaven someday!!

Bless you and bless your sweet hubby for his crying shoulder--what a good man!!

Love,
Kim

Blogger Joyful said...

Praying for you Zoe.

I am in "the clouds" right now too. Due to some sudden challenges with both my Mom and Dad, (Mom hospitalized because of a serious fall this past Saturday and Dad in depression), I left my family on our first day of holiday and travelled home and am living at my parents home. Last night as I crawled into bed at my parents house, the Lord brought verses to mind that finally allowed me to get to sleep. "As thy days, so shall thy strength be". "Don't worry about tomorrow, it has enough cares of it's own". "I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand". The Lord promises to give me not more than I can handle, so I handed it all to Him and in that peace I fell asleep and slept all night...until of course my Dad woke me because he gets up at 6am! :o)

Sometimes God comes in the clouds. Looking for Him, and trusting the sky to clear and His promised rainbow to appear. I love the words to the hymn, "Great is Thy faithfulness" - "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow..."

Love & hugs,
Joy

Blogger Marilyn said...

Zoe,
It's good that you are letting your grief out and not trying to 'hold it together' all the time! It's a way of healing.

Over 20 years ago our family lost my mother-in-law, my sister, my sister's husband, two aunts and an uncle in about 9 months time. It really, really takes a toll on you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Take time to grieve. That will truly help.

Tomorrow...August 13.....will be the first anniversary of my Daddy's passing away. It does not seem possible that he's been gone that long! He was 96 and lived a long, wonderful life and now walks the streets of glory....but still I miss him.

May God bless you!

Marilyn in Mississippi

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